I HATE hashtags!!! There, I said (screamed) it… *Breathe*. I miss the days when people knew that a hash sign was to indicate a number like “look at #6” or it was the button on your phone that you pushed after entering your number so that the automated machine can know, ok… person done now. Or if you take the # and stop it from almost falling over you get that little grid that you (well, I) used to draw all over the back of a piece of paper in class to kill time. Playing noughts and crosses with that awkward girl because aaaallll your friends were in different classes. Sigh, it was a difficult time, but I think I made a difference in awkward girl’s life. (Awkward girl was me, sometimes)
The go to awkward silent moment, I want to think of NOTHING, game!
The poor little sign gets abused, all the time, by men and women, grownups and teenagers. I have to say, if you use a # excessively, I immediately think you are an idiot, or you are desperate for a hug and I shall find you and hug you past the point of comfort. (If you are one of my friends and do this, it doesn’t mean that I love you any less… it just needs to be said). FREE HUGS!! Then if you combine the sign with that bloody SELFIE word and you gots the recipe to instant slaps! But yet, there is a song with that exact name… *Facepalm*. To be fair, I like the beat of the song, if the words were taken out I could jam to it. If you don’t know it… here you go, enjoy! (oh look, pouting… hat-trick for slaps)
So where is all this coming from? Yes, ok, here goes. I have been wrestling with the idea, fleeting thought, of creating a twitter account. Queue GASP!!! I know, its MADNESS!! (I am screaming THIS IS SPARTA in my head right now) I realise the pro’s of using twitter as a means of networking, which is what I would use it for, but is my soul worth it? Will I be able to stand idly by as my soul sails away into the tweet abyss riding atop an @ sign, using a hashtag to steer through the vast ocean of mind numbing tweets about which celebrity was seen where with whom?! NO!! The answer is a loud resounding, reverberating, thundering (and a few more adjectives) NOOOO!!!
This is what I feel my path looks like… uncertain and slightly dangerous.
For the first time since high school (which was a while ago) I have finished something that will better my life. (Hopefully). I now close the door on my TEFL course and look for the door to my teaching overseas future… and boy, is it intimidating. Just because I have the certificates does not mean that I all of a sudden can hop onto a plane and land in South Korea, Camera, tablet and suitcase in hand, rock up at a school and be like, yo, I can speak and teach English, you got a spot for me? Hmm, maybe I should do that…
To be quite Frank (Cos I don’t wanna be Julie) I am quite scared… I don’t really know which way now, how do I apply for work? Who do I speak to? Am I REALLY finished? Where should I go? How will I even get there? I have nooo cash saved up for a flight. Luckily I don’t have to worry about it too much. My Dad in heaven is in charge and He knows what where when and how. I do have to start moving in some direction or something though.
*Special thank you to the awesome composition of Hans Zimmer in Spirit Stallion of the Cimerron, without which I would probably still have finished but not with the quality of life still in tact. Mr Zimmer, you are a genius and your music soothes my soul and should really be the soundtrack to my life!
If you have any comments or advise lemme know… I am freaking out a weeeee bit. Not a lot, just a little.
No, this is not going to be a review on that weird ass show Hannibal, based on the movies about a cannibal named Hannibal. . I am not here to gross people out (on this post). This is also not a how-to post on how to cook the perfectly crispy brain fries… this aint no Hannibal cooking blog.
I am going to struggle eating fries now… Nope, no I wont. I love em.
This is just a post to get my brain to function normally (lazily) again for a bit. I have come to the last bit of my TEFL course (the last bit being about 50 hours) and there are so many things I have to think about. Not just regarding TEFL but about what happens after I finish the course? Why did I not do the course earlier? Why does that one song from The Lion King always get stuck in my head when I phase out?… ♪♫ I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, dedelee dedelee, there they are a-standing in a row bom bom bom♪♫
You’re welcome.
I just need some direction, some light shining on a path screaming OI, THIS WAY YOU SLOW ASS WOMAN!!! So many choices have to be made and so many risks have to be taken. I’m spontaneous, why is this such a schlepp? *by schlepp I mean fear inducing situation* Why does moving on in life scare me? I aint afraid of no ghost… ♪♫who ya gon call? Ghostbusters♪♫Yes yes, I know there are many things wrong with me, but I would like to take this moment to quote good ol Dr Cooper…
Use the force you must!!
My brain is FRIED from all the thinking about stuff, in general and then getting distracted only to have to think about what I was thinking about before I started thinking about something else… And now you are thinking what the heck where you thinking reading this. Haha, welcome to the crazy! Please leave all hats and jackets at the door as we sacrifice them to the ducks. They are our masters. Don’t let the cuteness fool you, they are heartless.
This is a BIG month!! Just wait and see… and as I have now figured out, everytime something BIG happens in my life I tend to evaluate my life and choices I have made thus far, which led me to this rather sad list. Fear not little one, for I shall do my utmost to weave in that flair of funny mixed with just enough sarcasm/cynicism that you have come to love and expect, ultimately making this one of those epic posts.
I suddenly want to have a degree
…or at least study at a varsity that has a campus and what not. I am at that age where around any social event there are the questions “So where do you work? What do you do? Do you like what you do? Do you eat children?” And then the inevitable “Where did you study?” I totally don’t mind that question, but sometimes I wish I had a different answer to that question, other than the lets close the door on that conversation forever answer with “Oh, Me? I didn’t study!” Bam, no further questions Your Honour. That being said, EVERYONE around me has some form of degree or qualification. It’s bloody intimidating. My want for a degree has been brewing for a while now, but alas, I am working towards something small now so we’ll see. Also, I REALLY would have loved to have the whole living on campus, student life type thing. You know, the lives you see on the American shows like Greek, Blue Mountian State and those American Pie movies. Although, knowing me, it’s better I didn’t have that, and those shows tend to be over the top!
I don’t think I would fit into the sorority thing.
I suddenly want to get married
*GASP* I know. Shhhhht. This one should go without saying (seeing as I am of the female type). But I never really wanted to get married at all. To be straight, I always HATED it. Then realised that one day it will happen so I should just accept my fate – Ok ok, it’s not that morbid. I actually realised that I was being an idiot and life in the loner lane aint all that fun. Also, having 2 of my best friends tying the knot to two of the best men I have met just seems to hit it home that, well, I am alone. I hate even typing this but meh, whatever. It is what it is. And what’s worse is, I now have to find a man that will get along with both of these men, and if you think that it is not important for the husbands of the friends you have to like your future person then you are better off alone, cos that is ultimately what will happen. Either you will stick with bolding drunkard and have no friends or you will have friends and leave the stinky boy! Also, I am constantly the single person in the clan of couples, finding yourself juggling lifts between 2 coupled friends is a lot more emotionally stressful than it seems. Maybe I should just get a car.
At least they aren’t playing matchmaker
I suddenly want to move away
This is probably one of the main reasons I am doing a TEFL course. Just to get away. I love South Africa with all my heart, but I gots to break free-ee! I want to breaaak free, I want to break free from the lies… something something something. Oh just watch this video…
… you will now have that song stuck in your head for the remainder of your stay here in looneyville. You are welcome.
I just get bored, maybe it is really just a fight/flight thing, and my mind is going RUN BITCH RUN!!! Things aren’t working out the way you thought down here in SA so lets go somewhere else, make it seem like a good life decision and just come back with a tan. I’d only move away for about 5 years anyways so yeah. (Why am I being against moving away… sigh)
I suddenly want to be more girly
Also, this is how I grew up… the wrestling!
I feel I should have a disclaimer. Well lately I have been called a lesbian, a few times. I should mention that I might have brought it on myself due to wearing very er… comfortable clothes and stating that I might look like one. Those of you who don’t know me… I am not a lesbian. I feel crap that I actually had to make that statement… Funny (read: SAD) thing is, this is not the first time it has been asked or said, and till I have a BOYfriend, probably won’t be the last. Being single so long also doesn’t help. So my automatic go-to is that I should be more girly. Do away with the toughness of: I shall move that heavy looking thing all by myself because ultimately it is not that heavy and all the men are busy, doing other heavy liftings of their own; I shall rather watch Rugby with the guys than sit and talk latest celebrity gossip and manicures with the girls; I shall rather do sports than shopping. One major thing is I should probably just stop being tough… pretending to want to kill people. I am a lady… Download 75% complete.
I suddenly want to kick myself for even thinking about writing #4
There it is… kicking, the violence. In today’s world men have the real fear of domestic violence hanging over their heads. It’s a real thing that women hit their boyfriends/husbands what not. Sad and wrong but real. Anyways, I have never really cared what people think or say, but there is just something about ones sexual preference being questioned on the count of… being strong, independent and tall. Somehow my self-confidence has taken a knock… which I also thought would never happen. My life is a lie and a whirlwind of emotion. I shall be fine, I am flubber!
lukraakvars 