Lockdown Challenge #1: Disney taught me that…

This is my first instalment of this fun challenge I started with 2 friends. You can go read about it HERE if you wanted to (DO IT)

Disney taught me that…

Phoenix gave me this to spark my inspiration, to be honest she could not have chosen a better spark. (Granted she does know me pretty well and this was probably premeditated). If Disney was a love language it would be mine along with touch.
I love Disney movies, Pirates of the Caribbean, Flubber, Coyote Ugly, I mean can anyone listen to Pour Some Sugar On Me without wanting to dance on a burning bar?

Do we serve water in this bar?

Yes, these movies are amazing but most of all I LOVE LOVE animated movies.

The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King (of course), these movies are all filled with whimsy, fantasy and just enough reality to make you think about your own life in a certain way. Disney movies teach many lessons and not everyone has the same experience.

Kind of like Biology class in highschool, just after doing a lesson on the male reproductive organ (ahem… PENIS). The guys are 10/10 making jokes, the girls are blushing and there’s always one student who is aiming for an A that asks awkward questions about prostate examinations. Looking at you, Andrew.

Anyway I digress, let’s let that rabbit go.

Down the rabbit hole.

Little Disney reference there for you.

Lets get to it… I’ma share the lessons that Disney taught me (I bet it’s not what you think):

1. My memory is not as shit as I thought.

Anyone who knows me can attest to this next part: my life is a movie quote. I know so many movie quotes that sometimes I forget that what I am saying is a movie quote until I stumble upon it in a movie. It’s not just movies it’s series as well, but that’s not what we are talking about now. (focus, woman). Now if I could harness that brain power in my work and study life I would be a force to reckon with.

2. You are NEVER too old to watch animations

As I’ve mentioned I love animated movies (this included Pixar and Dreamworks… I don’t discriminate).
Animations carry you off to a land far far away. It takes you Under the Sea with only the Bear Necessities so that you can Let It Go, be Part of their World and Be Their Guest.
It’s A Whole New World where you can paint with all the Colours of the Wind.
You might have questions like “When will my Life Begin” or you might find yourself asking someone “Do you Wanna Build a Snowman” but you know in your heart that animations help you Go the Distance and that this is all part of the Circle of Life.
Not gonna lie, I’m rather proud of that, must be because I’ve got a Dream and A Dream is a Wish your Heart makes… okay I’ll stop.

3. All characters in Disney can SING!

I wonder if all these Disney characters went to the Mickey Mouse Club with Britney, Christina and Justin. Look, it makes me want to sing too and for some reason these songs are dang catchy. Have you tried saying “you’re welcome” without a melody since you first watched Moana?

Erm… You are WELCOME. This song be stuck in your head now.

4. Your imagination is important and should be kept active

Ever watched a movie and thought “How cool would it be if that shit could really happen?” Mary Poppins for instance… click your fingers and your room tidies itself. Believe in fairies and you can fly. Carry a heart in a jar of dirt and you are safe from a water dwelling squidface. Disney movies take your imagination on a wild ride. I don’t know about you, but to me the world could use some magic, a little Spoon full of Sugar, a little fairy dust. It’s a bleak wild world out there and that world kills the child inside. As Walt Disney himself once said:

Too true Mr. Disney. Too true.

5. Finally, Disney taught me that your dream is stable if your foundation is stable.

I recently learnt that Walt Disney was a Christian and had a dream that the Magic Kingdom would be a place where people could feel God or encounter his presence. Now I have never been to the Magic Kingdom but I am sure it is amazing. Walt’s dream still lives years after he has passed away, I believe, because his foundation was solid. The Jesus kind of solid and that gives me hope.

What has Disney taught you?

The nations favourite friend…

2019, happunyah (read happy new year)… good, now that’s out the way.

Comedy Central South Africa has been airing reruns of FRIENDS (the BEST sitcom of all time, ever) and it had a vote going that ended on the 20th (I started writing this post before then, so now it’s probably not that relevant, but my momma didn’t raise no quiter). The vote is for the nation to chose their favourite friend… Here is why I have a problem with that:

Chandler is CLEARLY going to win!!! There isn’t much else to say about it than that, but I have plenty to say about WHY Chandler will win. We’ll start with a hors d’oeuvre of process of elimination where we take apart the other 5 friends, then we’ll skip the entrées and go straight for dessert with reasons why Chandler is the best friend. (Sorry Phoenix, I think you agree though)

So, in the words of Lumière,

What better way to make someone look great than to point out the flaws of those closest to them. I think it might be a sort of a cheerleader effect (thank you How I Met Your Mother). For the sake of short attention spans we’ll keep it to a maximum of 2 flaws each, starting with:

Ross

He is a needy *insert Samuel L Jackson’s favourite word here*

When something goes wrong for him, he SHOWS it. That needy someone-punched-me-in-the-gut “HI”. Or how he starts dating Rachel after having the worlds longest crush on her, and then within a year manages to make her so angry that she thinks they should take a break… from each other. OR how he starts dating another woman and takes said woman on a weekend away with the other friends including Rachel. Only to (nearly) get back together with Rachel that weekend.

WE WERE ON A BREAK!!

Anyone who calls themselves a FRIENDS fan will know this line. Will know the origin and the aftermath of this line. Here’s why I think Ross is a dumbass because of this line.
He starts dating Rachel, love of his life. She says they should take a break… That SAME NIGHT he sleeps with someone else. I don’t care if you are on a break, if you love someone you don’t sleep with someone else and use “we were on a break” as an excuse.

It just makes sense to have Rachel next

I have a whole post dedicated to Rachel, go read it here. I feel it may be overkill if I hash it all out again. I’ll put an insert from the post here for those lazy ones.

Here’s why I say Rachel is a BEEP BEEP… yeah ok. Bitch: End of S04 Phoebe is muchos pregnant and can’t go with the others to London for Ross’ wedding. After getting an invite from Ross (which, you know, is a bad idea) Rachel decides to stay in NYC to “look after Phoebe” as going to Ross’ wedding would just be too painful. I can’t stress enough at HOW PREGNANT Phoebe actually is… she’s carrying triplets people, TRIPLETS!!! In fact she is so close to popping that in S05 a few days after the others are back from London she goes into freakin labour… THAT PREGNANT!

– The one where Rachel sucks

Monica

She is now married to Chandler so by default she is probably not all that bad… BUT,

The OCD

There is an episode where Chandler tries to make her life less stressed by tidying the entire flat. Top to bottom. Only for Ross to remind Chandler that he might die if he doesn’t put everything exactly the way he found it. Monica comes home and immediately notices stuff out of place. Not that it is tidy or anything, it’s just out of place.

Competition

Need I remind you of the thanksgiving episode where they play football and Monica and Ross are outside in the snow holding on to the football while the others are inside, where it is warm, eating nice yummy food? Yeah I thought so. Monica is crazy competitive, which is ordinarily not a flaw but when it comes to catching pneumonia then it can be. Remember the ping-pong match between her and Mike? Yeah it went on forever and the only thing that stopped her was injury.

Phoebe

Flawed moral code 

She doesn’t eat meat and she doesn’t want animals to be killed… yet, she eats meat when she’s drunk and while pregnant and she wore a fur coat (for a while). Clearly her moral code is there, when it’s not being threatened by fur coats and steak.

I honestly can’t think of another flaw…

Joey

Player

During the course of FRIENDS Joey slept with 51 women in 10 years. From what I can remember he only dated 3 of these women he slept with.

Sponge

During the run of FRIENDS you see Chandler loaning money to Joey for various things. Getting head shots for his acting career etc. Yet, when Joey makes it big (briefly) he doesn’t ever pay Chandler back, nor does he seem to make an effort to.

Now for the dessert… Chandler is the best friend – why?

Hilarious

Some of the best lines uttered in the show is from Chandler. He is quick witted and oozes sarcasm.

Big heart

He is constantly there for the other friends. As mentioned before, he loans Joey a crap tonne of money. He marries Monica, lets be real, when Tom Selleck and Jon Favreau didn’t do it, there didn’t seem to be much hope for Monica. He gets Phoebe a job as his assistant when she really needs one. Him and Joey give Ross a place to stay when he loses the flat after the whole saying the wrong woman’s name at the altar. (Damnit Ross)

All in all, by my calculations, Chandler is my favourite friend and should be crowned as the nation’s best friend.

Do you agree? Who would you chose?

PS. The results aren’t out yet, I will update as soon as it is.

Swamp thing

I had this grand idea of writing and publishing 30 posts in 30 days… Yeah!!! It hasn’t exactly been going all that well.

I have been SWAMPED and, if I’m being totally honest, I’ve been lazy. In my mind, all I can imagine doing after work is vegging in front of my laptop watching Scrubs (you remember that show? You should. It’s freaking brilliant!)

Scrubs is a brilliant show, enough of the feels to make you nearly cry but then it turns it right back around with a Coxism or a JD daydream. It’s feel good and it needs to be watched by all people all the time, alongside Friends. I mean, who needs these new series or the 11th season of Grey’s Anatomy? Who needs to know what happens when winter finally gets here? I’ll just stick to the good ol… er… oldies. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Come now, Judith!!

Where was I? Oh yes, swamped. I tried being a blogging factory popping one out every day and for a bit there I did well… Till work and studies could no longer be ignored and I had to get deadlines and exams out of the way. See these things were interfering with my schedule of doing pretty much nothing. Ok, no, that’s a lie, I didn’t do nothing. Although, now I AM doing nothing which is the whole reason I am not getting to my 30 posts thing.

I’m not one for these personal insight kinda posts but I felt it needed some explanation, and I felt guilty. I feel guilty most days, everything I do is overshadowed by some form of guilt. Watching series, ‘You should be studying” buying ANYTHING “You should be saving‘ eating my fourth bag of chips that week, “I’m just here working on your will, since you’ll be dead soon because of that unhealthy shit’. The guilt is real and it’s everywhere.

So, on that note, I will try and write a post a day for the next few days. Don’t hold me to it tho, cos I’m still quite swamped.

The one where Rachel sucks

F.R.I.E.N.D.S is that one show, that brilliant sitcom, that funny timeless sitcom that has just enough feels to keep you coming back for more. (Don’t mind if I do) I have watched Friends countless times (I say countless ‘cos if I DID count the times I have watched it, it would probably be an embarrassing number of times) and each time I am reminded why it is so close to my heart. I have written another post about Friends HERE.

All that mushy stuff being said, there is a BUT, with me there is always a BUT(T), the last few episodes I watched made me realise that Rachel is a self centered BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! Especially towards the end of season 4 and through season 5.

You know it!

SPOILER ALERT (You know, for if you are one of those unfortunates who have not had the privilege, nay, the honour, of watching Friends, and you still want to watch it, then take a few months and watch it before reading further)

Here’s why I say Rachel is a BEEP BEEP… yeah ok. Bitch: End of S04 Phoebe is muchos pregnant and can’t go with the others to London for Ross’ wedding. After getting an invite from Ross (which, you know, is a bad idea) Rachel decides to stay in NYC to “look after Phoebe” as going to Ross’ wedding would just be too painful. I can’t stress enough at HOW PREGNANT Phoebe actually is… she’s carrying triplets people, TRIPLETS!!! In fact she is so close to popping that in S05 a few days after the others are back from London she goes into freakin labour… THAT PREGNANT!

THIS PREGNANT!!! Balancing cereal on your belly level pregnant. 

Anyway, back to end of S04, Phoebe marvels at how well Rachel is handling Ross getting married, what with being in love with him and all. Then Rachel has this mini freakout at Phoebe, for not telling her that she (Rachel?!) is in love with Dr Dino. Really? So longish story short, Rachel packs a bag and fucks right off to London, leaving Phoebe’s very VERY pregnant ass at home, to go tell Ross (who is getting married) that she loves him, because “then he can make a decision having all the information”. Shitty friend move 1.

What an idiot!

So, she doesn’t actually TELL Ross she loves him, so points to her there, BUT(T) after he says HER name at the altar instead of his fiance’s (which is exponentially worse that shouting out the wrong name in the throws of passion) and both Ross and Rachel end up at the airport, one waiting to go home and the other waiting for wifey to go on honeymoon, Ross (like a dipshit) asks Rachel to go on his honeymoon with him, you know as a friend, and she says no… Yeah right… that would mean shes not a bitch. She says yes!! Honestly, woman!!! Shitty person move 2.

Rachel goes to Greece alone, (cos wifey shows up just as they are about to go through and Ross runs after her) comes back and pretends that going alone was great. When wifey gives Dino-man an ultimatum: she’ll move to USA if Ross never sees Rachel again and Ross agrees, tells Rachel, she flips out. As if she didn’t plan to tell him she loved him on.his.wedding.day and as if Ross didn’t say her name at the altar on.his.wedding.day! Fast forward to the inevitable demise of Ross and wifey’s marriage, Rachel wastes zero time trying to get in there. Shitty friend/person move 3.

Ok, lets have a look a bit earlier in S04 where Ross announces his engagement, Rachel lies about the intensity of her and JoshUAH’s relationship, proposes to Joshua (who’s own divorce isn’t even final yet) and ultimately drives him away all because she has to save face. Shitty person move 4.

Actually, as a collection of friends who, at this point have been close friends for at least 5 years, they SUCK at being good friends. For instance Rachel comes back and Phoebe doesn’t even give her a stern talking to, you know, friend to friend, for just leaving her alone all pregnant and what not! Monica is the only one who attempts to talk sense into Rachel when she’s freaking out about Ross saying her name,  but lets be real it was with minimum effort. I would have clothes lined the shit out of Rachel as soon as I saw her trying to ruin another friend’s wedding. Joey had one job, look out for Rachel and stop her… but he gets distracted by boobs, Chandler is too busy chasing Monica ass to think anywhere north of his belt. It’s like none of these Friends really have each other’s backs. So a collective shitty friends move 5.

Anything Rachel related that you can think of?

 

DEADPOOL: My Biased Review

25 February 2016 will forever be a day that is celebrated and revered as THE day that I watched Deadpool for the first, and definitely not the last, time. I remember when it first got announced that they were MAKING Deadpool and that Ryan Reynolds (oh mama) would be playing the Merc with a Mouth. In my opinion, NO ONE ELSE would be able to play DP better and Ryan already had that schpeel as DP in X-Men Origins, which we do not speak of here, but he redeemed himself… in the most gloriously graphic and beautifully violent way.

To understand my obsession with DP, I will take you on a journey to the year 2002… the first time I laid eyes on the marvel (see what I did there) that is Ryan Reynolds.

Write that down!

It’s hilarious and it shows a PRE-gravitational force Tara Reid… Ahem. Then just 2 years later in 2004 he looked like this…

“I ate a lot of garlic and I just farted. Silent but deadly”

I mean, come on, surely that is super impressive on ANY level!? He is hilarious in ALL the movies that I have seen him in and if you have not watched Blady Trinity, do yohself a favour and watch it. It’s really good. Obviously Reynolds has a superhero physique and he definitely has the  humor to pull of the Merc with a Mouth.

My first encounter with DP was in X-Men Origins, it was a rather disappointing encounter and I never really paid much more attention to DP after that, who wants a Merc with NO mouth, where is the humour??? This is the part where I apologise to all the die hard DP fans who knew everything about him BEFORE Hollywood decided he needs his own movie. I would be honoured to be counted among your elite numbers and learn your ways, also, I would love to hear your thoughts on the movie.

Oh, it’s spectacular!

My thoughts on the movie are simple… IT. IS. AMAZING!! It did not in any way disappoint, you know how sometimes if a trailer is brilliant then there’s nothing left for the movie? Yeah, that is so not the case here. Right from the start it is hilarious and by that I mean the opening credits. (Are you taking notes?) The action, the bloody marvelous action and for the males reading this, the women. The quick witted, next level type comedy, that only Reynolds would be able to pull off. Everything around this movie is brilliant, right from the trailers, teasers and campaign for the movie, to the actual movie itself.

I do not want to spoil anything for anyone who has not watched it. Please go watch it, your life will be enriched. PRO TIP: Watch the trailers right before watching the movie… it’s like stretching before you exercise, gets the blood flowing and gets you all excited. Oh and FFS, stay till after the credits. Don’t be the THAT guy. ALL MARVEL MOVIES HAVE POST CREDIT SCENES!!! Sheesh noobie!

You look like an avocado that had sex with an older avocado!

Best of all… it has been announced that a Deadpool 2 for 2017 is in the works. YAAAASSSSS!!! And it’s rumoured there might be a PROPER Deadpool / X-Men crossover.

Thank you 9GAG!

 

Super 2016

Next year is going to be EPIC!! Why? Because of this…

This is just super!

I don’t profess to know all there is to know about these superheroes but I have watched the movies and that’s about all I need for now, besides, I know about the same amount as you. There are the select few who know EVERYTHING about superheroes down to who made the paper that the comic book was printed on. To those I say, please comment and share your insight about these films.

Batman vs Superman

Can you feel the tension?

First off, Ben Affleck as Batman, I think that’s brilliant. He is a good actor, despite that whole Gigly mishap and he makes a pretty damn decent superhero, remember Daredevil? Secondly, I don’t think the world could quite handle another separate Batman or Superman movie… this had to happen and it will, in March 2016.

Suicide Squad

That cast tho!!

Jared Leto as the joker. And Will Smith as a bad ass Deadshot. Brilliant! Now, let this be known, Heath Ledger left some pretty big ass shoes for Leto to fill. But I have seen some infographics that depict that Leto’s joker is a different kind of joker than Ledger’s one was. Either way, Leto will be epic and I can’t wait till August 2016 to see it.

Captain America: Civil War

Indeed, whose side ARE you on?

Again, 2 heroes fighting each other. This time it is 2 that, just last year, saved the world side by side in Avengers. Iron Man and duh, Captian Freedom himself. Why am I excited about this? Well because it’s Robert Downy Jr and Chris Evans. Now we get to see them battle it out in May 2016. Yeah!

X-Men: Apocalypse

Well looky looky

I grew up with X-men, as a staple. Wolverine, Rogue, Gene, Cyclops, Dr X, all of them. Every time a new X came out I had to movie marathon before watching the next one. The marathon is now very long but as long as Hugh Jackman stays Wolverine, (which he is rumoured to do) I do not mind popping the corn and watching it all over again. And who can say no to a bit of Jennifer Lawrence? I will be taking a week off work to marathon X-men before it comes out also in May 2016.

The Sinister 6

Maybe they will still make it, for another year.

Has been cancelled… but I think it would have been great. All the best Spiderman super villains in one movie, fighting against Spiderman. Why not?

Dr Strange

Strange indeed!

To be honest, I have never even heard of this superhero, BUT I have heard of Benedict Cumberbatch and Rachel McAdams and with them in this film what can go wrong? McAdams has proven herself to be a great comicbook type-ish actress in Sherlock Holmes so why not again, with another Holmes (Cumberbatch) in November 2016?

Gambit

This is not an official movie poster, this is fan art, also not done by me.

Now we get to the GREAT bits. And by bits I mean Channing Tatum. He is just my absolute favourite and it’s about time he gets to superhero it, along with the greats. The man can dance, he is hilarious, he can do soft and mushy (not my favourite but that’s probably just me), he does action like a beast. In my opinion he is beautifully talented and October 2016 I will be ready for that talent to melt my face. oh and just for funsies…

BAM!!!

Lastly *DRUMROLL*

DEADPOOL!!!

Express some RAGE!!

Of all the upcoming movies, this one is the one I am MOST looking forward to. To be released in Feb 2016. Ryan Reynolds comes back for a full feature film as Deadpool and it looks brilliant. Deadpool and Gambit should feature together… Ryan and Channing. How awesome would that be? Like Tatum, Reynolds is super funny, can do action like a vampire beast and theres the mushy stuff and also this…

Just, I mean, wow!

I didn’t include a trailer for the other’s because 1) I don’t know if all of them have trailers yet, and 2) Deadpool’s trailer beats all.

Special Mention!!!

Finding Dory

YEAH!!!!

What kind of cold hearted person would I be is Dory didn’t have a place on the superheroes list. She is definitely a superhero to me and I can’t wait to see Dory voices by the amazing Ellen DeGeneres in 2015, that’s right, we get to see it THIS YEAR! After a long ass wait, it’s about time Dory. But hey, maybe she forgot what she was doing a few times and had to start over the whole time.

So many awesome movies coming out in 2016.

This is Serie-ous!!!

Game of Thrones, Suits, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Grey’s Anatomy, House, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Dexter, Once Upon A Time, No Life… oh no wait, that last one is not a series, but you get my point. With so many options on the series buffet table for the brain it’s no wonder we struggle with real life stuff!!

So much to watch, so little time!!

We engross ourselves so deep into our fantasy lives that when our real lives fall apart we don’t understand why. By real lives I mean the life where you have to work for your food and where your boyfriend doesn’t take you back when you cheated on him. The life where if you are running away from some drug dealers and find yourself in the middle of some big attorney firm’s interviews the last thing that will happen is you get a job. Or MAYBE these things just happen in America, I can’t think why they have employment issues…

Classics!! This is what it was all about!

Anyway, I haven’t watched series of any kind for almost a year. What I mean by watched is, I haven’t lost days worth of time by binge watching one series till the birds let me know its time to wake up from not sleeping and get ready for work, where all you can think about is whether Dexter will find the person who did that nasty thing to that other person! No, I didn’t go on a brain cleanse or something weird like that. I just didn’t have a pc to watch it off of. Well, that and my previous housemates did not have a TV. I gotta say It’s been great. You have a crap load of time if you don’t spend all your time watching other people live their lives. That being said, I do love series but the classics, like Friends, Scrubs, Seinfeld,  you know the good stuff. Oh but wait, Harvey Specter!!!!!  Oh mama!

I like you too…THIS. I mean THIS

So, maybe I just need a serie-ous intervention. I recently got a laptop (a blessing from an amazing lady) and I am trying not to get sucked into the series vortex! Apart from working 2 jobs and doing classes and church, basically not having time for much other than catch up on sleep, it has been great not being consumed by the need to know what is happening next in a show. Or the agony of having to wait a whole year for the next season… YES, I am looking at you all my Game of Throne’rs, only a few more months till the killing continues, I don’t know why you all just don’t read the books. Spoiler-alert, averted! I am aiming to read the books this holiday,  but I am so far behind in the reading I should have done for class soooo yeah, my priorities are out of whack! For now, I am watching Friends because it makes me feel good.

Hmm… I don’t fully agree with that but its a good quote non the less.

What series are you stuck on or can’t wait for?