The Perfect Family

Modern Family - Series 06

Have you ever thought, what makes the perfect family? HINT: It’s not Modern family, although they are pretty great. Parents who are involved with their children’s lives? Children who do not rebel? Aunts and uncles who just know when to not bring that annoying friend of their cousin along to family braais? Parents who aren’t divorced? Grandparents who aren’t dead? (I know you were thinking it)

No, all of those things are great, but the perfect family is one that has all of the following:

A mechanic: (Unless you are a family of Amish) Everyone that owns a car will know the dread that fills you when your first service comes along and you have to form out hard earned cash to keep that car going smoothly. Or you’re merrily driving along and BAM the engine falls out. Que, the greasy uncle with the plumber but. Cheap quality fix. Sorted.

An electrician/plumber: If you are lucky (and don’t live in a rural area in a third world country) you have running water as well as electricity in your house. You also know what a bitch it is when either of those give you problems.

A high school maths teacher: Extra math lessons are so expensive and tutoring even more so. Why not have an in house teacher that can lighten the burden. Maths is a brilliant subject and society would have you believe otherwise. Rather have it be a teacher that has a passion for the craft, if they are just doing it for the money (nevermind, we all know teachers in SA don’t get paid enough to only teach for the money – Which is a damn shame by the way. These folks are shaping young minds into the future leaders… Maybe if a certain leader had a teacher who got paid a decent salary this leader would have learned something and not left school). I say highschool maths because as far as I can remember, high school maths was all inclusive. It dealt with the foundations of every kind of maths that you might get exposed to. Hey I might be wrong, but if I had a maths teacher in my family I would know better. (Kidding… slightly)

A doctor/dentist: Having a check-up at both of these are crazy expensive. Unfortunately there are just some times where going to the Doc is unavoidable. Apparently one should visit the dentist at least once a year. No one says what the protocol is for if you have great teeth already… anyway.

On that note – A veterinary doctor: Cos if something happened to Mr Whiskerson you would not know how to cope. Animal care is expensive, even just a check-up cos that cute new kitten is throwing up and not eating at all, and you just can’t think about the kitten dying.

A massage therapist: The world is seemingly stressful. We sit in traffic all day to go to a job where our deadlines are overlapping each other to come home and worry about our children’s math grades and have to fix our cousin’s car. Does this one need further explanation?

A hairdresser: Hair grows… duh. Having someone in the family that can tame your mane would save you so much money. Even if your hairdresser is cheap, you would need to fork out money every month or at the least every 2 months for a haircut.

An accountant/CA: Who else is going to do the taxes for all these folks, or advise them on what would be the best discount to give their fellow family members because of their various services? This is more a business opportunity that anything else, so many working people in one family, it just makes sense.

A pilot: This is panning out to be a big family, and reunions are expensive. One pilot family member with a plane and bam!!

A lawyer: Big family like this, there is bound to be at least one unruly cousin that needs legal representation. Or, Aunty Pilot landed on a highway because saying “I will turn this thing around” does not work in mid-air so you gotta ground that bitch to get your point across.

Lastly, a housing developer: This has to be a close knit family that live close to each other. The housing developer can build them their own little community. Sorted.

Reason I say family is because family has a certain obligation to help family, especially when they know that they can’t NOT help their cousin with their car since that cousin is giving them free haircuts. With friends there is no real sense of obligation, also, friends have their own demands from their own family.

 

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