8 easy things to pick up at a bar

Whether you are a regular at a bar, or go every once in a while, or even WORK at a bar, I have found that these next few things are a little too easy to pick up…

  1. Lets start with drinks, people leave them lying around all the time. They leave them at the bar, on tables, outside in the road, in the bathroom, although steer clear of those if you are one of those “don’t eat in the bathroom” types.

    Just pick it up like you paid for it...

    Just pick it up like you paid for it…

  2. What goes with drinking like black goes with white? Cigarettes and off course, if people are drunk, they drop them, leave them lying around, not just loosies, full packs of cigarettes. Thinking about it now, money can be made.
  3. With that they lose lighters. Ok, ok, I just take them. To be fair, people always lose lighters. In my first month of working the bar I had already “picked up” 5 lighters. I don’t even smoke.
  4. Then we get to drunk people, girls, I am telling you if you felt like it you could easily pick up a guy at a bar. Guys know this, they have tried and tested it and it works for them. Just wait for them to pick up enough drinks, get good and shitfaced and there you have it. Easy pickens. If you like a challenge then I suggest getting to the bar early enough to lay some ground work. Early means less shitfaced.

    theeeere we go, drink up. Soon, very soon.

    theeeere we go, drink up. Soon, very soon.

  5. GERMS… oh the germs. Think about it, people spill drinks all the time. You know when your feet feel like they have been cemented to the ground, that my friend, is sticky wasted alcohol. Add food to that mix and you have a germ fiesta, think peanuts at the bar… and think how guys pee… now think about who eats those peanuts and how… You. Are. Welcome!!!
  6. This one is a serious one… and mainly from experience. Ever since working at a bar I have picked up a LOT of weight. But, lets just not… I am still struggling to wrap my pants around it. It’s all the standing around and working till early hours of the morning, so you end up eating bar food… deep fried everything starchy. Also, you have all this extra cash, so you know, driving past KFC… why not. Sitting at the office (real job) order a pizza… why not? Soon I will have to use the extra cash to buy new clothes… why not? Never being home to eat healthy is also not helping.

    And these babies aren't helping

    And these babies aren’t helping

  7. Swearing… SHITFACED!! You see my point. Say what you will but the staff that work a bar would have Popeye blushing. The swearwords that are cultivated in a bar blow me away, and the readiness to use them even more. From the most petite looking girly to the roughest westie you know. It happens, and you will pick it up.
  8. Manners… well actually you drop them there. Seriously, what kind of person walks into a bar with manners and out with them still in tack, all of them still present and accounted for. The swearing will sort that shit right out.

 

After proof reading my post I kinda feel a bit sullied and unusual… so I will stop now… be sure to see some more of what can be picked up at a bar, if you try hard enough.

Gaan jy?!

Disclaimer: ek het nie op my kop geval ne, ek het nie eweskielik in n diep see van gedagte geval nie. Ek het net dinge wat moet uit, you know! Gedagtes en shit! Daar is die moontlikheid dat daar seer saam die gedagtes is maar meh.

kikker dit bietjie op!

kikker dit bietjie op!

Gaan jy nog omgee wanneer iets beters oor jou pad val?

Wanneer jou belange na ander dinge trek, sal jy die ou dinge onthou?

Op n skemers aand in die stilte van n romantiese toneel, met lig wat oor nakende sweeterige skouers val, sal jy dié traan bedekde skouer onthou?

Sal jy die gebede onthou wanneer die skatkus oorvloei?

Sal jy die nood(t) onhou wanneer die lied weer speel?

Onthou jy die ander, al is dit al wat jy sien?

Wanneer jy uit die gat is, onthou jy dié wat gehelp het?

Gaan jy nog saam speel al word jy te oud?

Gaan jy nog omkyk al stap jy aan?

Gaan jy nog liefhê al is jy seer?

Onthou jy die klein dinge wanneer die groot dinge op jou trap?

Sien jy die mooi agter die vaal raak?

Sien jy die gebroke en gemors agter die grimeer?

Sal jy die maer onthou wanneer die vet oorneem?

Sal jy die gevaar in die veilig onthou?

Sal jy onthou waar jy was wanneer jy kom waar jy wil wees?

Gaan jy terug dink of terug kom?

Dink jy verby môre?

Dink jy terug na gister?

Verlang jy na dié dinge wat kon?

Terwyl jy in die donker is, dink jy aan die son?

99 posts but it’s plus one…

Dang it, I missed the perfect opportunity to use that line… you know, the 99 problems but a bitch aint one.

As this is my 100th post I just thought it should be a thank you note to all y’all that kept reading the stuff I post. Everyone who comments and likes and shares my stuff. I appreciate each and every one of you. Eventhough I do not know you personally, we all share a common thing: (well apart from, oxygen, water, space EARTH) we are all bloggers, people who want to be heard so badly that they write all their thoughts and or rants down for total strangers to read.

Metroman, Megamind

I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!

I have tried to be funny along the way but sometimes the deeper stuff just pushes to the surface. I have tried to keep it fresh and tried (not very hard) to keep posting in both Afrikaans and English. I love writing (not in the “I will write a book one day” kinda way) but still, I hope to keep posting interesting and nonsensical and totally random-got-nothing-to-do-with-anything pieces.

Peace out, bitches!! (I had to)

Liezel xxx