Phoenix sparked me with this.
Am I the only one who feels like Dr Seuss has been writing the script for the world for the last few months? Come together by staying apart. Up is down, down is up, right is left, left is right, that kind of thing. No, not just me? Great.
Anyway, I am not going to make this a COVID-19 thing, goodness knows there is enough of that going around (ahem). No, I will make this light hearted and funny.
I thought with this one I would do a “HOW TO STAY APART AND COME TOGETHER” thing. That sounds a lot like moving whilst being stationary. It can be done and by golly I’ma tell you how.
And here goes:
- Yell to your neighbour.
This is one works best for people who live in apartment blocks or in close proximity to other families. What you want to do is get onto your balcony or even the roof of your building and yell to your neighbour, which neighbour you ask, ANY NEIGHBOUR. Ask them whether they watched the reruns of old Rugby World Cup matches. Or do that ridiculous recipe swap thing with paper airplanes. OR… or, if you are feeling very adventurous do that string-tin telephone. You know from back in the day. I know yoh ass got some tins, you guys been stocking up for the apocalypse. Eat some beans and phone a friend.
- Do that zoom singing thing.
You and some friends come together via Zoom (obvy) and sing something. For extra points sing something cliché like Ring-a-ring o’Roses. Wait, no that song is too short, not everyone will have a chance. Maybe something like Poor Unfortunate Souls. It doesn’t matter that all your friends sound like 1 000 nails on a blackboard and you sound like a tired cat, sing your little hearts out.
- Make a video…
…about EVERYTHING you are doing from what food you are making to how you fold your toilet paper. People need to see that. Believe me, their lives are less full without knowing exactly how you unclogged the shower drain using peanut butter, drain cleaner and some salt. PLEASE share all of these pearls of wisdom. Oh and don’t film these videos in landscape, or in a well lit room with ZERO naked kids in the background. No, it’s portrait all the way and some more bonus points if you can get your kid to dig in their nappy in the background and yell “It stinks”.
- Do a lockdown challenge
*cough-cough* There’s the egg challenge, the handstand challenge, the climbing Everest on your stairs challenge. Why stop there? Bring back the ice bucket challenge and the cinnamon challenge. Shit, while you are at it, do the Harlem shake all on your own, or follow the first bullet and ask your neighbour to join. And whatever challenge you decide on, don’t forget to nominate 50 friends to join in the “fun”.
I hope these tips are helpful in keeping you and your loved ones together by staying apart.
If you have any more tips, please share them in the comments below. Or just say “hi” (PLEASE SAY HI… Extrovert here)