Confession Bear

Recently I have been hooked on 9gag. If you are one of those unfortunate people who do not know 9gag, it is the place where life goals go to die. Not in the bad sense. Imagine a black hole; that is what 9gag is. At first you think, I will just look at a few of these memes and or funny gifs and then all of a sudden its 4 hours later and you realise you long ago stopped feeling your ass. Also, the kettle you switched on for your 9gag coffee is cold and you will have to get up (such a schlepp), wait for ass to wake up and switch it on… again… queue repeat of above.

9gag.com…

One thing that you will definitely see is the confession bear meme (I have NO idea how to pronounce this freakin word). And somehow this has become the sharing platform for anyone who has something disturbingly embarrassing and socially frowned upon. Sometimes these are funny, sometimes these are gross and sometimes I find myself hoping that a police officer is monitoring 9gag and catch the bathterd that posted it. As a general rule I skim over the bear ones, I feel sorry for the people because they do not have any close friends or family that have established a safe place for them to be themselves and so they have to be all weird and wonderful on a very popular website… as a talking bear. Yes, sure you can’t tell everyone that you still eat your boogers and in those cases you write that on a piece of paper and burn it. But you know, lets provide entertainment for all the other poor unfortunate souls in the vortex that is 9gag.

Oh how we all wish we knew…

Here are some of the funny and gross and weird ones I saw now… bear (hehe) in mind that 9gag gets posted on by millions of people DAILY!! That’s a lot of confessions.

 

Come to think of it, confession bear is the shorter version of most blogs…

At least try…

Afrikaans has this awesome saying (that I hated when I was younger): Kan nie is dood van kruiwa stoot. Translated it means “Can’t died from pushing a wheelbarrow”. (Stop laughing and judging) This is a favourite saying by most parents when their child is meant to do something and they say they can’t. I HATED IT!! But, recently I have so wished my parents, original and expansion pack, would stand behind me and say that.

 

Something like this woulda been funny as heck!

Being an adult means you become your own support system, your own fan base, your own cheer squad and your own critic. Somehow the support system fails and the fan base becomes non-existent and the cheer squad starts to look like that squad in Waterboy. Flippen awesome movie that!

 

They aint doing jack for my confidence right now… Drinking Jack though.

So the last few months I have been hearing the phrase at least try and I just now realised that it’s a bit of a cop-out isn’t it. Whats that other saying? Rather try and fail than fail to try. Yeah I am all for that, but to me trying is like giving between 40 and 70% effort and hoping that is enough. I don’t know, maybe I am just being negative. Why aren’t we all just Nike fans?

What’s so difficult?

JUST FLIPPEN DO IT! I have reached that place in my life where waking up in the morning is too much of a schlepp… just a friendly warning, don’t ever let yourself reach that place. Its darker than that dark alley you avoid on the way home, also, it’s never ending. Like reaching the back of the bus in Dexter’s Laboratory, you get stuck on gum and meet some hairy dude that has been stealing things with his toenails.

 

Couldn’t find a pic that shows his toenails. They were gross!

Sigh, oh the good ol’ days when there were quality cartoons.

 

Disney channel got nothing on the original Cartoon Network.

Ah well.

 

 

Puzzling

Everyone likes puzzles, if you don’t then you had a warped childhood and you need to see a professional in order to get that fixed. I like puzzles… until they don’t want to work anymore. Then I just want to pack it all up and try in a year or 15’s time again. These are usually the over 1000 piece ones and usually the ones with lots of the same hues of colour. So as you can imagine a lot of the pieces would look the same. FRUSTRATING!!!

Easy

We want a clear picture, we want to know ok this little piece is gonna go in this approximate area along with these other little pieces. And how often are we soooo sure that THIS piece HAS to go HERE. So we try and force it cos it looks exactly like what we think it should look like.

Not so much

Well, this is our lives. We are building the big picture and sooo many times we have situations and experiences that look and sound exactly the same so we try and plonk it all in the same place meanwhile there’s this other place in our hearts and memories where some of them need to go.  Sometimes we try to force our circumstances into what our previous experience has showed us it needs to be, forgetting that we have grown and changed and that it just won’t fit. And as an added bonus we don’t even know what the end picture looks like, we don’t have the cover of the puzzle box to life to have a general idea.

What we do have is faith, hope and love that if we just persist and keep trying then eventually the picture will become clearer. Hope get’s you off the couch and onto the front porch. Hope sees, Faith feels and Love never fails. Surely we can finish the puzzle with those!