The one where Rachel sucks


F.R.I.E.N.D.S is that one show, that brilliant sitcom, that funny timeless sitcom that has just enough feels to keep you coming back for more. (Don’t mind if I do) I have watched Friends countless times (I say countless ‘cos if I DID count the times I have watched it, it would probably be an embarrassing number of times) and each time I am reminded why it is so close to my heart. I have written another post about Friends HERE.

All that mushy stuff being said, there is a BUT, with me there is always a BUT(T), the last few episodes I watched made me realise that Rachel is a self centered BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! Especially towards the end of season 4 and through season 5.


You know it!

SPOILER ALERT (You know, for if you are one of those unfortunates who have not had the privilege, nay, the honour, of watching Friends, and you still want to watch it, then take a few months and watch it before reading further)

Here’s why I say Rachel is a BEEP BEEP… yeah ok. Bitch: End of S04 Phoebe is muchos pregnant and can’t go with the others to London for Ross’ wedding. After getting an invite from Ross (which, you know, is a bad idea) Rachel decides to stay in NYC to “look after Phoebe” as going to Ross’ wedding would just be too painful. I can’t stress enough at HOW PREGNANT Phoebe actually is… she’s carrying triplets people, TRIPLETS!!! In fact she is so close to popping that in S05 a few days after the others are back from London she goes into freakin labour… THAT PREGNANT!


THIS PREGNANT!!! Balancing cereal on your belly level pregnant. 

Anyway, back to end of S04, Phoebe marvels at how well Rachel is handling Ross getting married, what with being in love with him and all. Then Rachel has this mini freakout at Phoebe, for not telling her that she (Rachel?!) is in love with Dr Dino. Really? So longish story short, Rachel packs a bag and fucks right off to London, leaving Phoebe’s very VERY pregnant ass at home, to go tell Ross (who is getting married) that she loves him, because “then he can make a decision having all the information”. Shitty friend move 1.


What an idiot!

So, she doesn’t actually TELL Ross she loves him, so points to her there, BUT(T) after he says HER name at the altar instead of his fiance’s (which is exponentially worse that shouting out the wrong name in the throws of passion) and both Ross and Rachel end up at the airport, one waiting to go home and the other waiting for wifey to go on honeymoon, Ross (like a dipshit) asks Rachel to go on his honeymoon with him, you know as a friend, and she says no… Yeah right… that would mean shes not a bitch. She says yes!! Honestly, woman!!! Shitty person move 2.

Rachel goes to Greece alone, (cos wifey shows up just as they are about to go through and Ross runs after her) comes back and pretends that going alone was great. When wifey gives Dino-man an ultimatum: she’ll move to USA if Ross never sees Rachel again and Ross agrees, tells Rachel, she flips out. As if she didn’t plan to tell him she loved him and as if Ross didn’t say her name at the altar! Fast forward to the inevitable demise of Ross and wifey’s marriage, Rachel wastes zero time trying to get in there. Shitty friend/person move 3.

Ok, lets have a look a bit earlier in S04 where Ross announces his engagement, Rachel lies about the intensity of her and JoshUAH’s relationship, proposes to Joshua (who’s own divorce isn’t even final yet) and ultimately drives him away all because she has to save face. Shitty person move 4.

Actually, as a collection of friends who, at this point have been close friends for at least 5 years, they SUCK at being good friends. For instance Rachel comes back and Phoebe doesn’t even give her a stern talking to, you know, friend to friend, for just leaving her alone all pregnant and what not! Monica is the only one who attempts to talk sense into Rachel when she’s freaking out about Ross saying her name,  but lets be real it was with minimum effort. I would have clothes lined the shit out of Rachel as soon as I saw her trying to ruin another friend’s wedding. Joey had one job, look out for Rachel and stop her… but he gets distracted by boobs, Chandler is too busy chasing Monica ass to think anywhere north of his belt. It’s like none of these Friends really have each other’s backs. So a collective shitty friends move 5.

Anything Rachel related that you can think of?