This is a BIG month!! Just wait and see… and as I have now figured out, everytime something BIG happens in my life I tend to evaluate my life and choices I have made thus far, which led me to this rather sad list. Fear not little one, for I shall do my utmost to weave in that flair of funny mixed with just enough sarcasm/cynicism that you have come to love and expect, ultimately making this one of those epic posts.
- I suddenly want to have a degree
…or at least study at a varsity that has a campus and what not. I am at that age where around any social event there are the questions “So where do you work? What do you do? Do you like what you do? Do you eat children?” And then the inevitable “Where did you study?” I totally don’t mind that question, but sometimes I wish I had a different answer to that question, other than the lets close the door on that conversation forever answer with “Oh, Me? I didn’t study!” Bam, no further questions Your Honour. That being said, EVERYONE around me has some form of degree or qualification. It’s bloody intimidating. My want for a degree has been brewing for a while now, but alas, I am working towards something small now so we’ll see. Also, I REALLY would have loved to have the whole living on campus, student life type thing. You know, the lives you see on the American shows like Greek, Blue Mountian State and those American Pie movies. Although, knowing me, it’s better I didn’t have that, and those shows tend to be over the top!
- I suddenly want to get married
*GASP* I know. Shhhhht. This one should go without saying (seeing as I am of the female type). But I never really wanted to get married at all. To be straight, I always HATED it. Then realised that one day it will happen so I should just accept my fate – Ok ok, it’s not that morbid. I actually realised that I was being an idiot and life in the loner lane aint all that fun. Also, having 2 of my best friends tying the knot to two of the best men I have met just seems to hit it home that, well, I am alone. I hate even typing this but meh, whatever. It is what it is. And what’s worse is, I now have to find a man that will get along with both of these men, and if you think that it is not important for the husbands of the friends you have to like your future person then you are better off alone, cos that is ultimately what will happen. Either you will stick with bolding drunkard and have no friends or you will have friends and leave the stinky boy! Also, I am constantly the single person in the clan of couples, finding yourself juggling lifts between 2 coupled friends is a lot more emotionally stressful than it seems. Maybe I should just get a car.
- I suddenly want to move away
This is probably one of the main reasons I am doing a TEFL course. Just to get away. I love South Africa with all my heart, but I gots to break free-ee! I want to breaaak free, I want to break free from the lies… something something something. Oh just watch this video…
… you will now have that song stuck in your head for the remainder of your stay here in looneyville. You are welcome.
I just get bored, maybe it is really just a fight/flight thing, and my mind is going RUN BITCH RUN!!! Things aren’t working out the way you thought down here in SA so lets go somewhere else, make it seem like a good life decision and just come back with a tan. I’d only move away for about 5 years anyways so yeah. (Why am I being against moving away… sigh)
- I suddenly want to be more girly
I feel I should have a disclaimer. Well lately I have been called a lesbian, a few times. I should mention that I might have brought it on myself due to wearing very er… comfortable clothes and stating that I might look like one. Those of you who don’t know me… I am not a lesbian. I feel crap that I actually had to make that statement… Funny (read: SAD) thing is, this is not the first time it has been asked or said, and till I have a BOYfriend, probably won’t be the last. Being single so long also doesn’t help. So my automatic go-to is that I should be more girly. Do away with the toughness of: I shall move that heavy looking thing all by myself because ultimately it is not that heavy and all the men are busy, doing other heavy liftings of their own; I shall rather watch Rugby with the guys than sit and talk latest celebrity gossip and manicures with the girls; I shall rather do sports than shopping. One major thing is I should probably just stop being tough… pretending to want to kill people. I am a lady… Download 75% complete.
- I suddenly want to kick myself for even thinking about writing #4
There it is… kicking, the violence. In today’s world men have the real fear of domestic violence hanging over their heads. It’s a real thing that women hit their boyfriends/husbands what not. Sad and wrong but real. Anyways, I have never really cared what people think or say, but there is just something about ones sexual preference being questioned on the count of… being strong, independent and tall. Somehow my self-confidence has taken a knock… which I also thought would never happen. My life is a lie and a whirlwind of emotion. I shall be fine, I am flubber!