The nations favourite friend…

2019, happunyah (read happy new year)… good, now that’s out the way.

Comedy Central South Africa has been airing reruns of FRIENDS (the BEST sitcom of all time, ever) and it had a vote going that ended on the 20th (I started writing this post before then, so now it’s probably not that relevant, but my momma didn’t raise no quiter). The vote is for the nation to chose their favourite friend… Here is why I have a problem with that:

Chandler is CLEARLY going to win!!! There isn’t much else to say about it than that, but I have plenty to say about WHY Chandler will win. We’ll start with a hors d’oeuvre of process of elimination where we take apart the other 5 friends, then we’ll skip the entrées and go straight for dessert with reasons why Chandler is the best friend. (Sorry Phoenix, I think you agree though)

So, in the words of Lumière,

What better way to make someone look great than to point out the flaws of those closest to them. I think it might be a sort of a cheerleader effect (thank you How I Met Your Mother). For the sake of short attention spans we’ll keep it to a maximum of 2 flaws each, starting with:

Ross

He is a needy *insert Samuel L Jackson’s favourite word here*

When something goes wrong for him, he SHOWS it. That needy someone-punched-me-in-the-gut “HI”. Or how he starts dating Rachel after having the worlds longest crush on her, and then within a year manages to make her so angry that she thinks they should take a break… from each other. OR how he starts dating another woman and takes said woman on a weekend away with the other friends including Rachel. Only to (nearly) get back together with Rachel that weekend.

WE WERE ON A BREAK!!

Anyone who calls themselves a FRIENDS fan will know this line. Will know the origin and the aftermath of this line. Here’s why I think Ross is a dumbass because of this line.
He starts dating Rachel, love of his life. She says they should take a break… That SAME NIGHT he sleeps with someone else. I don’t care if you are on a break, if you love someone you don’t sleep with someone else and use “we were on a break” as an excuse.

It just makes sense to have Rachel next

I have a whole post dedicated to Rachel, go read it here. I feel it may be overkill if I hash it all out again. I’ll put an insert from the post here for those lazy ones.

Here’s why I say Rachel is a BEEP BEEP… yeah ok. Bitch: End of S04 Phoebe is muchos pregnant and can’t go with the others to London for Ross’ wedding. After getting an invite from Ross (which, you know, is a bad idea) Rachel decides to stay in NYC to “look after Phoebe” as going to Ross’ wedding would just be too painful. I can’t stress enough at HOW PREGNANT Phoebe actually is… she’s carrying triplets people, TRIPLETS!!! In fact she is so close to popping that in S05 a few days after the others are back from London she goes into freakin labour… THAT PREGNANT!

– The one where Rachel sucks

Monica

She is now married to Chandler so by default she is probably not all that bad… BUT,

The OCD

There is an episode where Chandler tries to make her life less stressed by tidying the entire flat. Top to bottom. Only for Ross to remind Chandler that he might die if he doesn’t put everything exactly the way he found it. Monica comes home and immediately notices stuff out of place. Not that it is tidy or anything, it’s just out of place.

Competition

Need I remind you of the thanksgiving episode where they play football and Monica and Ross are outside in the snow holding on to the football while the others are inside, where it is warm, eating nice yummy food? Yeah I thought so. Monica is crazy competitive, which is ordinarily not a flaw but when it comes to catching pneumonia then it can be. Remember the ping-pong match between her and Mike? Yeah it went on forever and the only thing that stopped her was injury.

Phoebe

Flawed moral code 

She doesn’t eat meat and she doesn’t want animals to be killed… yet, she eats meat when she’s drunk and while pregnant and she wore a fur coat (for a while). Clearly her moral code is there, when it’s not being threatened by fur coats and steak.

I honestly can’t think of another flaw…

Joey

Player

During the course of FRIENDS Joey slept with 51 women in 10 years. From what I can remember he only dated 3 of these women he slept with.

Sponge

During the run of FRIENDS you see Chandler loaning money to Joey for various things. Getting head shots for his acting career etc. Yet, when Joey makes it big (briefly) he doesn’t ever pay Chandler back, nor does he seem to make an effort to.

Now for the dessert… Chandler is the best friend – why?

Hilarious

Some of the best lines uttered in the show is from Chandler. He is quick witted and oozes sarcasm.

Big heart

He is constantly there for the other friends. As mentioned before, he loans Joey a crap tonne of money. He marries Monica, lets be real, when Tom Selleck and Jon Favreau didn’t do it, there didn’t seem to be much hope for Monica. He gets Phoebe a job as his assistant when she really needs one. Him and Joey give Ross a place to stay when he loses the flat after the whole saying the wrong woman’s name at the altar. (Damnit Ross)

All in all, by my calculations, Chandler is my favourite friend and should be crowned as the nation’s best friend.

Do you agree? Who would you chose?

PS. The results aren’t out yet, I will update as soon as it is.

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