Moving along on 2

Some of you might remember the Wonder-Mobile, my first car and also the first car I had an accident in. After this piece of machinery cost me a pretty packet I sold it saying bye bye to the Wonder-Mobile, and with the help of a best friend’s family got a new car, new in the sense that it’s newly mine. It had been in their family for years. This car’s name is the Green Monster, its the family name I suppose. Now I had no problems with old Greeny, he drove well, had aircon, new radio. You know all was well. Then one day, I blew the engine… I know what you are thinking, didn’t you blow the gasket on the Wonder-Mobile? Why yes I did, thank you Mr Smartypants. But as I have learnt the hard way, its not the same thing. Blowing a gasket happens when you don’t put water in your car and blowing the engine happens when there is no oil in the car.  Anyways, the time has almost come for me to say adios to Greeny. Paying for his hospital bills is not working for me, imagine it was that easy with people.

Don’t get too attached honey, we can’t keep it. The hospital bills are too high.

So what will I get to replace the Green Monster? A motorbike. The costs just work out way more affordable than carrying on with the struggle of paying for a car. 2 Wheels are way cheaper than 4 wheels and more fuel efficient, also no getting stuck in traffic. I am a little frightful as my brother had a very bad accident with a motorbike and I have never ridden one. If everyone didn’t do something that they have never done before then no one would do anything and we would still be clobbering our mates over the head with a club and dragging them to the nearest cave, no wait we wouldn’t.

Aaw sweety don’t worry I won’t know what to do with you once I got you…

I won’t go all out and get the beast of all beasts like a Hayabusa or a 1000cc Fireblade cos that would be playing with death… No that would be slapping death in the face and running away singing Heidi. Death WILL get you! I also refuse to get a Harley Davidson looking thing. I’m not willing to grow a beard, shave my head and have a tattoo of a scull eating a heart on my forearm. To me a Harley Davidson looking helicopter sounding thing is not a motorbike. I shall be getting a smaller motorbike, a 125cc or a 250cc to start off with. Oh and for those that were thinking, “why don’t you get a little moped (scooter to the lesser)?” to which I will say, why don’t you find a beehive and smash it with a hammer, if you survive that I will take it that you are a superhero and I should go on what you say. I will let the images speak for itself…

Harley Davidson vs. Yamaha R1 vs. Vespa

Bye Bye Wonder Mobile…

Ok, for those wondering who or what Wonder Mobile is… it is my trusty donkey. The pack-horse of my life. Yes, it is my car. My very first blog is about Wonder Mobile and naturally I thought it was HILARIOUS. Kind of how a parent will always say that their baby is the most beautiful creature that could ever come from another human being, when in fact we all know that babies are not all that. (At least I have the guts to admit it)Anyways, totally of topic… so back to the car. The thing with 4 wheels that has caused me countless hours of stress and not enough hours of drinking.

Some more frightening stories about my wonder car is that I burst a tyre the other day. It has a hole the size of a R5 coin. How bizarre?? I suppose that’s what you get when you mount a curb the wrong way… at the wrong speed. 1… 2… 3… MOVING ALONG. Oh oh aaaand at one stage it sounded like I had an anaconda under da hood.

Kinda like this but less real… and less crap-your-pants like.

You can now imagine that non of the street vendors would come near my car while at a robot. Which is kind of a score if you think about it. I mean how many  pairs of sunglasses does one REALLY need? Even if it is “Special price for you madam”. But I have had some good times in old Wonder. Went to Kokstad, went to Kenton-on-Sea. The car road trips like a trooper. Honda=die-hard. So in a sense I am sad to say good bye. BUT…

In 1 day I will be saying adios. It all happened so fast, a week ago I had a friend look at the car to give me a price on it and that self-same day he had found a buyer for it. Dang, the guy even wanted to buy it THAT DAY. Had I had another means of transportation I would not even have written this blog… I woulda been like “TAKE IT AWAY!!!” But I didn’t so I have been frantically looking for a new car. Now I know I have been wanting that cute little Kia Picanto, maar dis net te duur!!

I can deal with that…

SO… I’m thinking of getting a Hyundai i10. Look at it, it’s not that bad looking right? Plus its light on fuel and in South Africa where the fuel prices rise and fall like a pregnant female’s moods, ya kinda need a light fuel car. I’m not fond of the white though but it seems like Hyundai ran out of other colours so most of the i10’s are white  ah well.

So, as with a new baby, I want to give my new car a name. How about some ideas???

Wonder-Mobile

Wonder Mobile (Noun) Pronounced (Honda Ballade 1.5 Luxline)

Ok, so hoekom sal ek nou eintlik my kar die Wonder Mobile noem? Goeie vraag actually… wel kom ons breek dit op in n paar dele, ek dink dit sal gepas wees want die skedonk van my is so-te-se opgebreek in ‘n paar dele.

• In die tjor se infancy het hy seker 90km op sy reserwe tank gery, now I dont care what you say, but that is amazing. Om die waarheid te se, dink ek dis die gebed wat die kar so laat “go” het.  (die is seker die enigste goeie punt in die hele stuk –that’s what she said)

• Na n kleine oopsie en baie maande se afbetaal vir die ou oopsie het hy begin probleme gee… Ooh en die probleme was nie ‘n paar klein dingetjies nie. Nee nee, ry te veel deur water en die kar besluit om net sommer te gaan staan. Just for the funsies of it, hey miskien woon daar n familie van Mogwais (ek is seker jy ken vir Gizmo) onder die engin. “Nee, een van die fuses het nat geword”, se mnr Mechanic. Ok nee dis fine. Kry ‘n nuwe fuse.

• Dan loop die Wonder Mobile soos n droom vir n paar maande tot hy een dag besluit, reg buite een van South Africa’s finest se stasies, dat hy nou nie wil start nie. Ok, ok, nou dink ek, dis soos n man, jy moet mooi vat en mooi praat en smeek voor hy werk. So I did… Obviously he didn’t love me, want hy wou nie eens vir my n geluid maak nie. “Nee, die starter motor het seer gekry”, se mnr Mechanic. Die kom haal hom, maak hom reg, bring hom terug na my toe. Woep-wap-skiet-pap werk hy weer.

• Maar toe, terwyl ek ry, nie in traffic nie en ook nie naby aan enigiets wat ek kon stamp of so iets nie, val een van sy indicator light covers uit. Nou vra ek jou, WAT DOEN MENS NOU?

• Ag, nie eers n week later nie sit ek en hy weer vas. He did some things, I said some things which I wouldn’t discuss here… well not on the first date. “Nee, een van die starter motor se wires het los gekom”, se mnr Mechanic. Mnr Mechanic vat vir Mobile vir anger management en kry sy drade reg, ons was uit mekaar vir amper n week. Dit was nodig, ons was baie liewer vir mekaar daarna.

• Tot hy rerig lelik begin raak het, hy sal sommer net overheat vir die kleinste trippies. Die het gelei na n hele paar besoeke aan mnr Mechanic wat vir hom ‘n nuwe knoppie dingetjie ingesit het wat die signal reg oordra aan die fan om te werk, en so die water wat deur die engin gaan af te koel (Ja, ek praat nou ook mechanic, ek het gelukkig nie die mullet of die mustache nie), toe is dit n nuwe “lid” vir die water tank ding, ai en om te dink die was goedkoop… nee nee nee. Mnr Mechanic is nie goedkoop nie.

• Toe lyk dinge asof dit nou reg reg is, vir n paar maande was dit sunshine en brake fluid, and then it all started again. Begin hy net weer so vinnig warm word vir niks nie. Dit kom toe uit dat hy n gaatjie in een van sy pype het, ek vermoed hy het op my verneuk maar ek het nie harde bewyse nie…. NOG nie. ‘n Nice petrol outjie het dit toe sommer vir my reg gemaak, het te werk gegaan met n tang en n chef’s knife (het dinge gedoen wat ek sou love om te doen aan die blerrie kar!!) Girls, ek se julle, dis slim om met n tang en n mes in die kar rond te ry. Veral as jou kar vantevore aan n rep (of dalk die duiwel) behoort het.

• Nou nie eens n maand later nie begin hy weer met sy kak, miskien is dit omdat hy weet dat oor 3 maande is ek en hy verby. Ek soek al klaar n nuwer model… (kyk as dit maar so maklik met mans was). Upon inspection, after one of his tantrums, waar die temperature gage weer in die rooi rondgedans het, vind ek n 3cm gat in n totale ander water pyp. Nou die gat is slap-bang in die middel van die pyp so ek kan nie self surgery op die ding uitvoer nie, en die water piepie soos n resies perd daaruit… so nou WONDER ek wat gaan volgende fout gaan met my WONDER mobile???

Dis waar die naam vandaan kom…