5 Weddings in a year… FIVE! Let’s narrow it down some more, 5 weddings in the space between 25 April and 1 November. That’s not even an entire year, that’s like 6 months and a few days. So, half a year. 5 WEDDINGS IN HALF A YEAR. If I wasn’t acutely aware of how totally single I am, 5 weddings made that very clear to me. The fun part is that the year is not over yet, Murphey might invite me to another wedding.
Believe me, I am not saying I didn’t enjoy every wedding that I attended, 4 of the 5 were of really close friends, for whom I am extremely happy. All the weddings were beautiful from big to small, extravagant to minimal. They were all exquisite and God was there, which makes me happy. I am not anti-wedding, or the wedding Grinch, just saying. What would the wedding Grinch look like, if one existed? There’s a story in there somewhere and by golly I will find it.
It’s easy attending weddings, doing make-up, getting dressed (After the age of 13, if you can’t dress yourself, there are problems), dancing, laughing, eating… etc. You know what is not easy? Being at that age where people are getting married, having babies and falling pregnant. Having people come up to me asking when, why and where? As if they have not known me for an extended period of time. In my parent’s life the acceptable age age was between 18 and 22. Now, in today’s age it is between 25 and 35. I know, here and there a few slip through the cracks, there’ll be a 21 year old for every three 27 year olds. Those are crappy odds.
3 Babies. To be fair, only one baby was born this year. Right after a wedding. This way I can’t forget the date of either. SILVER LINING!! There was however another pregnancy announcement. Sure there are babies born every 6 seconds around the world, but it wasn’t in MY world where these babies were being born. I could walk around oblivious to the infant population growth happening everywhere except in my own world. I can’t be oblivious anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely happy for all the weddings, babies and families and whatnots. I am also just walking around pet stores looking at the cute kittens, trying to figure out what the correct crazy-to-cats-ratio would be (I wonder of Barney Stinson has one like his crazy-hot-chart?). I already have a cat and I am already pretty crazy, there’s a healthy balance… so how many more cats until I am a spinster with a house smelling of potpourri and cat excrement? Do cheetahs count? Cos I am all for having a bunch of cheetahs, I don’t care what you say.
On the flip side, I don’t want to have children and I could totally pack up everything, or SELL everything, and go live in a shack on the beach, cleaning hotels and trying to make it as a big shot surfer.(Can yah name the movie?)
Roots? What roots? I shall be a bonsai tree, small and portable, I shall teach karate masters the art of patience. I don’t have the responsibility of having to report my whereabouts to another human being for the sake of pretending that I care about his feelings by letting him know that I am still where I was an hour ago. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.