8 easy things to pick up at a bar

Whether you are a regular at a bar, or go every once in a while, or even WORK at a bar, I have found that these next few things are a little too easy to pick up…

  1. Lets start with drinks, people leave them lying around all the time. They leave them at the bar, on tables, outside in the road, in the bathroom, although steer clear of those if you are one of those “don’t eat in the bathroom” types.

    Just pick it up like you paid for it...

    Just pick it up like you paid for it…

  2. What goes with drinking like black goes with white? Cigarettes and off course, if people are drunk, they drop them, leave them lying around, not just loosies, full packs of cigarettes. Thinking about it now, money can be made.
  3. With that they lose lighters. Ok, ok, I just take them. To be fair, people always lose lighters. In my first month of working the bar I had already “picked up” 5 lighters. I don’t even smoke.
  4. Then we get to drunk people, girls, I am telling you if you felt like it you could easily pick up a guy at a bar. Guys know this, they have tried and tested it and it works for them. Just wait for them to pick up enough drinks, get good and shitfaced and there you have it. Easy pickens. If you like a challenge then I suggest getting to the bar early enough to lay some ground work. Early means less shitfaced.

    theeeere we go, drink up. Soon, very soon.

    theeeere we go, drink up. Soon, very soon.

  5. GERMS… oh the germs. Think about it, people spill drinks all the time. You know when your feet feel like they have been cemented to the ground, that my friend, is sticky wasted alcohol. Add food to that mix and you have a germ fiesta, think peanuts at the bar… and think how guys pee… now think about who eats those peanuts and how… You. Are. Welcome!!!
  6. This one is a serious one… and mainly from experience. Ever since working at a bar I have picked up a LOT of weight. But, lets just not… I am still struggling to wrap my pants around it. It’s all the standing around and working till early hours of the morning, so you end up eating bar food… deep fried everything starchy. Also, you have all this extra cash, so you know, driving past KFC… why not. Sitting at the office (real job) order a pizza… why not? Soon I will have to use the extra cash to buy new clothes… why not? Never being home to eat healthy is also not helping.

    And these babies aren't helping

    And these babies aren’t helping

  7. Swearing… SHITFACED!! You see my point. Say what you will but the staff that work a bar would have Popeye blushing. The swearwords that are cultivated in a bar blow me away, and the readiness to use them even more. From the most petite looking girly to the roughest westie you know. It happens, and you will pick it up.
  8. Manners… well actually you drop them there. Seriously, what kind of person walks into a bar with manners and out with them still in tack, all of them still present and accounted for. The swearing will sort that shit right out.


After proof reading my post I kinda feel a bit sullied and unusual… so I will stop now… be sure to see some more of what can be picked up at a bar, if you try hard enough.


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