Lets start with a little Johnny!! Because he is awesome!
A phrase that I have been hit with a lot lately is SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE, I don’t like it! It makes people lie and eventually no one will be able to believe anything that anyone says because it’s not socially acceptable. I have found a few things that falls into the lies for acceptability category.
- Telling someone they have lost weight, but why can’t you tell them “oi, you chubbed out a little there.” Now, I know that some people are touchy about their weight and what not, but maybe if they were less touchy with food and more touchy with exercise this issue wouldn’t come up! I recently chubbed out and people just dont say it… I personally like it when people can be honest in the face of danger and tell me, “listen fatty, put the cupcake down and do 5 burpees!” My dad and brothers do this (not the burpees part) and I love them even more for it.
- Sarcasm instead of physical violence. I think sarcasm is a way of life, but I also think it can be a copout! There are many times where I resort to sarcasm because I do not have the money I would need to make bail. Seriously, some people do need to be punched in the face, or kicked in the kidneys but sadly all I have is sarcasm. Again, my brothers serve a purpose there, but I lose that battle every time. They are too big and strong for my sarcastic fists!
- Walking barefoot… in the city! No one would ever call you out on it but you can know that if you had the ability to read minds you would cry! I love walking barefoot, its freeing and less of a health hazard! (Some peeps have stinky situations). Now why is it socially acceptable to wear CROCS but I can’t enjoy a walk in a mall without shoes on?! I should move to a coastal city and live on the beach! No shoes ever needed!
- Eating with a knife and fork – why not chopsticks all the time? Well, I know a lot of people struggle with eating with two oversized toothpicks, but why a knife and fork. Listen, if I want to eat a burger/ pizza or even a steak with my hand then let me be. Otherwise I will find a different use for the knife you are staring down your nose at!!
- Drinking with breakfast. Some mornings calls for a shot of jaggermeister AND aftershock before you poor the milk over your coco pops. Wimpy should start stocking hard liquor! With that, I think a shot with some chocolate cake should be acceptable for breakfast!
- White picket fence life!! Now this is entirely my own feelings, and if you want to have a go at me for saying any of this then you are part of the problem that enforces this onto females. I’m not a feminist and, if you have not had the privilege to read any of my recent posts, I am not a lesbian, I just do not like the cookie cutter life. Oh, you are a young single female, you must be burning to get married and start a family? Oh, you have a boyfriend? When are you getting married? Oh you are married? When are you gonna start having kids? It never stops! It seems that if you are someone who is alone and not fussed then there is something wrong! F*#& that thinking!
- Aaaaand on that note… we have swearing… I agree with it being non-socially acceptable to swear, but I think swearing should be condoned… a little! I swear a lot! A LOT! Without swearing I would have to speak idiot and I can’t do that! I think working at a bar has brought out the pirate in me!! Har!!
Yo ho, yo ho the upstream life for me! As always…