The Legend of Hercules – Sorta movie review

Now before I say anything I just wanna say that I am somewhat of a big Greek Mythology fan, eversince I was younger and playing Zeus on the computer. I have several books about Greek Myths and regularly just read up about it.

Zeus, Greek mythology

This is also the cover of the game Zeus… such memories

Now as you probably know there have been a few movies based on Greek mythology: Troy, Perseus and its sequel Clash of the Titans to name a few. 2014 has seen one new myth movie called The Legend of Hercules and I was super excited to watch it, needless to say, I regret it, like drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth type of regret. For one, the special effects were not special at all, but and the biggest problem I have is that they hardly tried to keep it in line with the actual myth of Hercules. Yes, in the movie Zeus is his father and Alcmene his mother but that is about as accurate as it got (slight exaggeration here).

Hercules, Kellan Lutz, Twilight

Played by Kellan Lutz (who is also a vampire in Twilight… need I say more?)

This might be seen as a spoiler alert but in the myth Alcmene doesn’t writhe in a bed in pleasure and is suddenly pregnant with the Zeus spawn. No, Zeus appears to her in the form of her husband and lays with her, and then her husband comes back from wherever he was (one can only assume riding a Pegasus whiles drinking wine) and also lays with her, so she becomes pregnant with TWINS! Yes, Hercules and the brother who was his older brother (and tries to kill him) in the movie are actually twins.

The Nemean lion he kills with his bare hands (such sad effects there, I mean, even Aslan, the lion from Narnia was better and that movie is what, 10 years old?), was actually one of the 12 labours given to him by Hera, Zeus’ wife. He didn’t have to kill the lion to protect himself or his brother; he had to kill the lion as part of his labours. Here is what wiki says about the Nemean Lion

The Nemean Lion was a vicious monster in Greek mythology that lived at Nemea. It was eventually killed by Heracles. It could not be killed with mortals’ weapons because its golden fur was impervious to attack. Its claws were sharper than mortals’ swords and could cut through any armor.

Aslan, Nemean Lion

Aslan looks way scarier than the Nemean Lion in the movie

OH, and that whole shpiel with Alcmene going to Hera’s temple and what happened there is not according to myth. There are some other minor grievances but, meh.

I know, I know, just enjoy the movie. Well I can’t help I know greek mythology and appreciate good special effects, after all, we are in 2014, people.  Maybe that’s just where my g(r)eek side comes out a bit. I am more excited about the other Hercules movie, that has none other than Dwayne *the Rock* Johnson as Hercules. That ought to be good.

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