Shoes… GLORIOUS… Shoes

My sister in law requested this post… her quote is… “I am in a love affair with shoes… really.. I get all hot and sweaty when I see a gorgeous pair of shoes.” Me on the other hand have just figured out WHY women need sooooo many pairs of shoes. The reason in my opinion would be that we have so many personalities and each one needs their own special pair. Or maybe its because we need shoes to go with different outfits. Now don’t feel left out guys I know some of you have a secret love for our feet hugging friends, you just won’t admit it and we are all fine with that.

Sister in law’s real request was a post on porn shoes and I have this to say about porn shoes, courtesy of Chris Rock: “Clear heels. When did clear heels become part of the new wh*re uniform? Was there a big ho convention and they all went ‘we need some’in new, some’in that just says NASTY. Oh I know… clear heels. Ooh girl you’re disgusting” Think about it… when have you EVER seen a self respecting woman wear clear heels? Just take a look at those… (just as a funny exercise google clear heels)

Dangerous things

AKA Stripper shoes... I would like to know how a stripper... er... strips in these without some breakage.

There is not much to say about porn shoes thought… I dont know WHY the women in porno’s wear shoes to be honest. I don’t really think the guy cares what shoes you are wearing, honey!

Porn shoes dont really have that naughty look about them unless you go look at these...

Porn shoes are RIDICULOUSLY high which probably doesn’t matter… it’s not like dem girls spend a lot of time on their feet… ya know what I’m sayin’? Anyways… here are some.

 

Now we get to the dainty petite pretty shoes, the ones that women go to balls with and wear with a beautiful flowing dress. Usually these shoes are the reason women walk like they are holding in a wee. Why they look like their faces are frozen with that awkward smile on their face and why there is a certain glisten in their eyes. And then people think “oh, shes so overwhelmed that her eyes are tearing up”… NO!!! Its the freakin shoes!

Very pretty and VERY eina!

They look sweet and innocent but these are the main culprits for sprained ankles. No wonder Cinderella left one of hers behind, I think she was about to take the other one off and then the time struck 12. (but her shoes being glass and glass being clear… hey… was she maybe a stripper??? thats putting a twist on a fairy tale.)

Then we get to my personal favorites STILETTO’S… or as I like to call them, the clubbing shoe. Yes I know dancing in these are worse than parading in mr Choo but these are classy and dang sexy. I recently got given these but the best friend EVER…

Red Stilettos

My Ferrari's... I know they aren't THAT high but they are sexy.

I wore them to work one day and well I didn’t make it. Granted that they were brand new, maar ek moes net. The reasons I like stilettos are as follows… they are sexy, they can be dressed up and dressed down. Kind of naughty but nice. Can be worn to work and then out to the town. These shoes deserve some respect, they are like the drill sergeant of shoes. They demand endurance simply because you want the attention that they get you.

Another favorite would be the pumps… I am tall so wearing stilettos makes me look like Helga the Gladiator and most men are kinda intimidated soo I tend to live in pumps. they are comfy and classy and go with all outfits, dresses, skirts, jeans, formal pants, shorts. PLUS, they are affordable… except if you go to ALDO. C.R.A.Z.Y.NESS!! Boots are also a must. I preffer the calf high boots over some skinny jeans. It ties them all together.

Now men I KNOW you feel a little left out. So here’s some of my thoughts on the men shoes.First up are the “boats” AKA the skater shoes. Popular brands like DC’s, Etnies, VANS all make these types of shoes. We’ve all seen them in play as well. Recently its usually accompanied by skinny jeans, balancing on the outer layer of ass-cheek, and over sized t-shirts. Then we get vellies…those are the more sophisticated of casual shoes. Can be worn with jeans and shorts.Then lastly these…

Very nice...

I do not know what they are called but I love men in these shoes. They are sexy.

So what is YOUR shoe style? Is it stripper, skater or sexy?

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6 thoughts on “Shoes… GLORIOUS… Shoes

  1. Oh how I love shoes! I’m more of a wedge girl, but boots and pumps are classics in my closet too. Since I’m a matcher, my shoes generally need to match with something in my outfit, Whether it be the colour, texture or pattern – the shoe is the basis of all my outfits and dictates what I wear. Awesome post

    Like

  2. Awesome post! I love everything and anything that Aldo produces, although I’m yet to own a pair…

    Also, well done on including elements from Chris Rock in a very girly post. Can’t wait to read what comes next!

    Like

  3. Thats a cool post, although I like shoes where just the heel is clear…I thing wedges are the best dancing shoe! Easier to avoid falling over but you still get that sexy height and lift to your legs!

    Like

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